We have yet to meet this son…yet the pain is very real. It surprises me when the emotions come. When we signed on to adopting T&Y we knew that it would be around a year until they were home, we knew that our hearts would need to be guarded during the wait. At points, I have kept my thoughts and emotions at a distance, but surprisingly, at times they come flooding in. Today was one of those days. I woke up with a heavy heart praying for our sweet five year old son, who from pictures and video, seems to be so full of joy and energy.
As the boy’s were making a card for him today, I walked up to my tender husband in tears, asking him to reassure me that someday, the Lord willing, they will be home. Of course I know this, but I am weak and need to be reminded that this is a journey of faith and that in the Lord’s sovereign plan He has asked us to wait…to hope. I know I can trust my gracious Lord to protect and provide for our sons in Ethiopia. I know I can trust Him to prepare Zeke and Nime to have two big brothers. I know I can trust Him to prepare us to be parents of these two precious lives. I know I can trust Him…He is completely trustworthy.
Today, I also think of a mother that because of tragic circumstances, that I do not understand, will not have the privilege to look on his face today. My pain for her is just as real. I truly can’t imagine the pain that she endures…it is a sacrifice of love. There are no options for her…her hope is that someday they will have a second family that will be able to watch over them and love her sons. Her sacrifice is our gift. Though I don’t understand, I choose not to take this privilege and responsibility for granted. Our families forever joined together by these two lives…our legacies.
This day is about to be over, but the result is a greater desire to pray fervently for our two oldest and their family in Ethiopia.Though i have missed the past five years, I will choose to daily live with a heart to celebrate his life. I want my heart to be open, daily asking and preparing our family and home to be ready for these treasures to be home.
Happy 5th birthday my sweet joy!! Tonight, I can only stare at your huge smile…but in just a few months we trust you will be home with us for good.
I will say to the Lord, “My refuge and my fortress, My God, in him I
TRUST.
Psalm 91:2
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| Making a card for the big bro Y for his 5th birthday. |
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| Their favorite part of Christmas...holding baby Jesus. it is a constant theme in our house to "rock baby Jesus". |
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| Zeke pretending to be in Chinese class during one of my breaks. They love my teacher and seem to really be interested in learning. |
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| Playing Uno with some friends on New Year's Eve . |
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| Catch phrase was comical. They did super figuring out the phrases |
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| Our baby boy is now sleeping in a big bed. Although he has done pretty good, he occasionally crawls out of bed and entertains his parents by his attire. |
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Playing with some neighborhood friends. |
4 comments:
In tears... thank you for sharing! I am confident this was Y's last birthday without ALL his brothers and his mommy and daddy with him. I CANNOT WAIT til next year's "Y's 6th Birthday" post...it's gonna be a good one!
I'm with Sharon. I feel a big 6th birthday coming next year!!
Happy 5th Birthday Y!! We can't wait to meet you!
Love the pictures and the post! I definitely had days like that too, that just hit me like a load of bricks-it's nice to know others have that too! I usually approach my husband as well and we pray for reassurance. Praying for all four of your little ones!
We are adopting 5yo Hafte with IAG...I wanted to introduce myself. We are just starting the process - sent our contract to IAG last week. I wonder if our boys are friends...Hafte is in Mekele right now.
Let's chat sometime - my email is
awaitingourfirst at hotmail dot com
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